Forget about it you will… have that In count for starters.
Then know that the best way is to understand the meaning of expectations… what are they “an expectation is to hope something or someone will act, do, react or even be as you think they have to.”
Like when you see a gray cloud, you expect it to have some rain.
So many examples I can give you but you’re not dumb so you get my point. Then, we become a little dumber and dumber, at least that’s what I think… with every child we have… yes we keep forgetting the basics like.. prefrontal thinking process doesn’t develop until 25 years old. Then we are surprised, when we still expect a 6 year old to think like mothers over 40… so yeah! We become a little dumber as we grow into motherhood.
We blame them when we lose our shit Bc “they don’t listen ” what we tell them.“They don’t obey us’ ‘ and suddenly all the wait is on their shoulders. It’s kinda unfair for them and stupid on our part.
Don’t we realize that we are asking them to be mature and act like grownups and not only grownups but grownups that have their shit together, know what to do at all times and specially have a conscious inner compass so they “behave” accordingly.
It terrible, the fucking reality it’s unbearable to realize we depend on their emotional reactions to be ok, we depend on their reactions to have a calm and cool day, what day forget the day a fucking cool and calm morning.
We as today’s parents can be real as holes. period.
The only thing to do not to lose our shit with our children is stop competing with them. And love them fully, unconditionally and forget about ourselves yes im sorry narcissistic mum that want a peaceful morning eeeeeeHHH hello you have children, and that means loud, mormons, loud afternoons, and crazy bed time… maybe only maybe you will have a nice night if during all that loudness you didn’t fight with your spouse, husband or whoever is co parenting with you. No really, really forget about yourself, think only in what they need and how to serve them the best at all times. Serve them in a way that you can see what you are doing, see with eyes that can see… the beauty, the mission, the service see the spiritual path of parenthood. As it is, and let this chaos awaken in you a true unstoppable force only with arms, eyes and all senses can grasp.
So, I’m sorry no tip for not losing your shit, only a dose of projecting in you how ridiculous we as parents can become in this task. Only a “note to self” :
- is not about you.
- step aside.
- give them their space to be.
- love , love and love some more.
ohhh ! yes and “tranquilizate” (Elliots words”) 4 years old…. and mami, “respira”.